March 28, 2016
Do you want the truth or do you want a lie? Sometimes we don’t want to hear the whole truthful advice about something we are going to do anyway. If we’re driven, we’re driven.
We learn as we grow what drives us and if we should listen to that voice.
I listened to the voice I believed was right when I decided to Indie publish my first novel. Here are the ups and downs of that decision.
Up: I’m my own boss. I own it. I had/have total creative freedom with content and cover.
Down: I’m inexperienced at all the details I needed to know in order to do this right.
Up: I have not only accomplished a great thing by completing a novel, I added another accomplishment to my list by publishing it myself. It is a good feeling.
Down: I’m tired, I’m scared, I’m uncertain that it will sell, and I don’t have a publisher to call to solicit encouragement.
Up: I can schedule my writing/publishing aspirations at my own speed and intensity.
Down: I do better with concrete deadlines – ones that someone else imposes.
Up: I have learned more in 6 months than I thought I ever could.
I’ll not end with a down….
Should I do it again? Will I do it again? Probably. Here’s why.
I have given in to the doubt, the fears, the disappointments, and the realities of self-publishing. But the bottom line for me is I’m NOT in control. I am not the gatekeeper of my writing and publishing career, whether traditionally or independently published. God is.
What will I do in light of all my doubts and fears that my first book will never sell more than 100 copies? I will write another one.
Will I Indie publish the next one too, even if the first one fails? Unless I have a publisher knocking down my door, I will. Do I think my original voice was right? Yes. Not because of how I feel , but because of what I know.
It’s easy, my friends, to get paralyzed by facts and figures. It’s common for us to be swayed by them. I am in the “do you trust Me?” phase of this adventure. I must seek glory for Him, not myself.
God is asking me if I trust Him. The only way I know to answer is to keep going with the plan, His plan.
Looking ahead and not getting stuck in the “what if I was wrong” quicksand is my goal for the coming months.
How are you doing with your plan, whatever it is? Are you doubting, fearing, thinking you need to run home and hide under the bed? Don’t do it. Just do the next thing. Go forward and…
Jenny Leo says
Love your honesty, Jan. IMO your “ups” are fabulous and more than compensate for the “downs.” Your first “down”–inexperience–is a temporary state, and shrinking by the minute as you learn and try new things. Re your second “down”–depending on the publisher, they aren’t always the cheerleader one might hope for, but can lob the responsibility for poor sales or lack of visibility right back into the author’s court. Third “down” re deadlines and external accountability–maybe you can figure out a workaround. I recently heard an interview where an author said he gives a trustworthy friend a substantial amount of money with instructions that, if he doesn’t make his deadline, the friend should donate it ALL to a cause the author hates. I don’t know if I have the guts to do that, but the author swore it was effective in spurring him to meet his deadlines. lol Anyway, you are SO right to trust God with your writing career. And now I’m going to save this post for those times when I get discouraged and forget every word I’ve said. 🙂 You go, girl.
Jan Cline says
Thank you so much, Jenny. You are the voice of reason! I love how you break it down into manageable elements. There is a reason for everything and sometimes we just have to wait to see how it unfolds.
Laurie Klein says
So encouraging, Jan. Congratulations, again. Keep Reaching is the operative phrase, one I needed to hear afresh. Blessings on your launch!!
Jan Cline says
Thanks so much, Laurie. You are an inspiration to me!
Maryellen boyle says
Loved this! Thankyou for not quitting. Sitting at the first Christian Writers gathering for the year and decided to tap in on your blog. Have been sitting in fear a long while. Thanks for the well needed encouragement!
Jan Cline says
Fear seems to follow us around and it’s a hard thing to recognize sometimes! Next time I’m at the meeting, let’s chat! Blessings!